The past two weeks have been some of the hardest I've been through. Not because something dramatic happened; not because of anything that happened. It was simply because I let my mind wander and go back to old habits.
Thoughts that I hadn't had in years became so prominent, I only left my bed when absolutely necessary. I fell into depression. I had thoughts of self-harm. My self-esteem was extremely low. Destructive thoughts were at the forefront. I was weak and did not want to tell anyone. In my mind, asking for help for something I had already overcome was pointless.
The truth was, though, that I felt alone. I didn't feel as if I had anyone by my side. I live two hours from my family and it's been a month since the last time I saw them. I don't have a car so I can't go places easily - to church or to hang out with friends from church. Everything was coming back because I was alone and felt as if I had no one to turn to.
In the middle of all this, I was reminded of different things that were told to me.
"Welcome to the family dear." - Elder Genesis
"You have a family in us." - Johana
"You aren't alone." - Mentor, Ligia
It is truly amazing how people who I met in November have become the best family I have ever had. These are people who I can truly say I am grateful to have in my life. I love these people and they are truly hold a special place in my heart.
I would never be able to say any of this in person because I am awkward and not good at speaking. But I do want them to know that I am eternally grateful for their lives.
Find people who see something in you when you don't see anything in yourself. Find people who will love you when you can't be loved. Find people who will be you family when everyone is rejecting you. Those are the people who are worth spending time with.
No comments:
Post a Comment